archives of the brain

Had a weird dream last nite.
Dreamt dat me and duck were at gramp's room.
Suddenly dere was a sound and both of us freak out.
We saw our gramps, alive!
SO shocked we were lost for words.
He even said hi, and talked for a short moment.
Couldnt remember the dialogue.
Bud after awhile some adult came into the room and gramps layed motionless.
Like the day he left us.
I woke up 1 sec before my alarm clock rang and started crying.
I couldnt help but cry, this pain from nowhere beyond description.
Went up the bus and saw a few uncles.
Listened to the song the climb and had watery eyes again.
Idk why, i jus felt very terrible and started weeeping like a baby again.
Den after h.a.p tutorial, someone said' Grandfather ' and it let me tinking of him.
Its almost 2 months bud i still felt dat i realli let him down.
Its not because im very close to him dat makes me feel so heartbroken.
Its because i wasnt dat close to him, not telling him many things so i felt so bastard, guilty.
And i didnt hate him when i was young, making fun of him and mimicking him );
I guess only when u lost someone, u will realise his presence.


Dam you tearglands );